but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
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