I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
