Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
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