1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Randomize
