you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
