hotel room ftw
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
