so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
