it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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