I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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