Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
