Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
There was a lot of him and a little penis
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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