How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
