A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize