She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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