Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
