I want to make a zoo with you.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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