I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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