I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
