he was CRYING into my vagina
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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