He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
