Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize