i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Randomize
