I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
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