About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Operation Purity has been aborted
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
