oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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