Can Purell be used as lube?
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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