Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize