he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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