How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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