I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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