This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
two words: eviction party
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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