and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
