Banned from zoo.
Again?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize