Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
