That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
