you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
