Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
