Christians are straight up FREAKS
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
