did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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