just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
