I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
