You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
