Umm I'm too high to move.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
