All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
