Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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