perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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