Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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