They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
