He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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