First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
