I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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