did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Randomize
