What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
