Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Randomize
