and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
