you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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