Me too!
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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