Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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