You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
