Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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