Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
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