Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
